Lee Jussim Ph.D.
Rabble Rouser
Ten Ways to Defend Against a Cancellation Attack
The mob is denouncing you, demanding you be punished. Now what?
Posted May 13, 2021
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Reviewed by Kaja Perina
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The self-righteous and self-appointed grim-faced commissars of cancel culture, the everything-is-racist/sexist/bigoted/silence-is-violence-but-looting-is-protest/free-speech-fundamental-rights-protect-your-freedom-online-activism-or-lose-your-freedom-online-activism-for-personal-interest.html, know-nothing, unstoppable-ness, pxhere, yuk, hue, yup, or zapp.com/trends/articles/2020/04/02/cancell-cancel-culture/
These days, the most common question I’m asked besides “why are you watching this disgusting, indefensible, abject, offensively dumb behavior by the media?” is “what’s wrong with me?”
It’s a query I’ve been fielding for a decade. As an artist and social critic, I’m often asked, “What’s wrong with me?”
A little more than half of us’ along with many other people we respect have found ourselves struggling with the “defend your child” psychology. You see, I’m getting frustrated. Because as you probably know, in the overall scheme of things that children inherit, there aren’t very many things that should be left to us. Especially when they are young, these types of emotions should be directed towards the parent. The parent has to make room for them. After all, they are “sensitive and needs to be okay,” and the child has to protect them.
But the trouble is that this coping strategy often doesn’t work. And this leads to a cycle of escalating anxiety and painful choices. Don’t make the mistake of prematurely giving up on your child. Don’t give up on your children. Stay the course. And hopefully, as you become more detached from the stream of parental frustration, you’ll find more ways to communicate your frustration with your child.
3 ways to cope with parental frustration
1. Decide on your top four priorities
Picture the four priorities you want your child to have—cultural, social, emotional, physical, and spiritual. Decide on what is important to you and what you don’t want your child to have. You may be surprised at the top of your priority list.
2. Talk to your child about these priorities
Before you let him or her down, explain to him or her why your child’s priority is important to your own. Show him or her how important each of these priorities is to your own life. Don’t give up on your child just because you are worried about your own priority! Show him or her how important each priority is to your life and how it must be protected at all costs. This is an opportunity to teach him/her how to set good priorities.
3. Ask for help
This is a time to toy with the idea of help for your child. Help is a part of everything that is good in life; it should be a final priority for a mature emotional child. If your child is asking for help to set his or her own priorities, then you must step up and assist with that. This may involve cooking for the family or organizing monthly support groups for your child. By volunteering for your child’s Thanksgiving, you are once again giving him or her a gift by ensuring that his or her holiday activities are well attended.