Zacie Sills Ph.D.
Last Word in Resilience
Resilience
The Importance of Core Emotions
Resilience can be learned and makes you stronger.
Posted May 03, 2021
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Reviewed by Lybi Ma
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THE BASICS
What Is Resilience?
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Source: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Finding yourself able to handle and express your emotions is important for self-fortitude, contributing to a sense of self-efficacy and self-compassion. You may have felt some sense of relief when you heard that your life’s style had changed, yet you were surprised at how much you had not changed. You may have thought you were doing the best you could, and you were focused on ways to improve your living style. Perhaps you were trying to become more considerate of others, you noticed that you hung out with those you cared about most on the days you most enjoyed spending with them. Perhaps you were trying to become a bit more patient, and accept people of all ages and shapes as they are.
This is not about changing your style, very definitely not by changing your values or your priorities. What this means is that Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT is a valid idea and a tool for promoting positive changes in your life.
EFT might be a bit more of a journey than FT because it involves a bit more effort, however, it is also non-judgmental and involves quite a bit of information processing that tends to be more user-friendly and involve less stress. EFT might also help you clarify what you are thinking or feeling, because stress can sometimes be unavoidable and uncomfortable, and with transparency, help might be the easiest way to understand what you are thinking or feeling.
The main techniques to integrate EFT into your life are running your life on a schedule, getting comfortable with your thoughts, and practicing an awareness practice. I found that the next set of techniques outlined in this article on how to run your life on a schedule helped me structure my days in a way that helped me with my recurring irritability. I set a consistent alarm clock, grabbed the paper work, and began to write in the journal that describes my week, each day organized with a heading, and each morning. The journal became a sort of office, with all the important messages assigned to it, making it more likely that I would remember to assign something to it even when I didn’t.
Another technique you may have come across is to create associations. If there are tasks or projects that you have thoughts about doing or planning, and then attempt to make them happen or be in the future, and see what happens to the task or project. This actually happened once and I recall it now.
Part of my daily routine would probably not have been feasible or would have been too stressful without the support of a good substitute for coffee.
Observing the way that I conducted my duties as a healthcare professional during the pandemic has been challenging, and sometimes I was too preoccupied or had trouble focusing on anything other than my work. Fortunately, I have had many discussions with myself and others that have led me to ask whether, despite my difficulties, I am actually enjoying my work more than I expected.
What I am very grateful for is that I am fortunate to have an income so that I am able to continue to cover my expenses. Even though I am employed by a healthcare provider, I am also self-employed. I make a living from doing skills training and workshops that enable me to provide access to people, pets, or medication.
Helping others is a great way to help yourself.
Source: Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels
Although most of us have had to make some accommodation in order to stay employed during the pandemic, not everyone has been completely unaffected. If you are employed, please consider making the effort to help those around you who are struggling. Even though my immediate family members and Iボre not terribly friendly social beings,” we have learned to try and put our best foot forward. And, of course, if you are lucky enough to be among the people who have received a gift or were to spend time with them, then you have a unique opportunity to learn about how we should set up our hearts for generosity.
References
Jeste, D. V., Lee, C., & Cacioppo, S. (2020).