Jeet Soo Lim
Joo Suk Hearn
Relationships
The Importance of Deep Relationships
Very different from shallow relationships?
Posted May 09, 2021
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Reviewed by Kaja Perina
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THE BASICS
Why Relationships Matter
Find a therapist to strengthen relationships
Source: Photo by Jasper Nuno from Pexels
Deep relationships are rewarding and intimate, especially when they maintain high levels of honesty and integrity. Even though we usually trust a deep social connection to tell us what we’re thinking, when it comes to deep relationships, the difference is highlighted in the form of water.
When you reach for the berries, do you expect that person to tell you more or give you more detail? A deep social connection is always more than happy to obligate. Deep relationships are rarely dishonest nor weak. When one partner sincerely seeks your advice, you’re not being paid to simply provide honest feedback. Your partner is asking to be heard and having respect for your contributions.
The Status Quo
I’ve been in social relationships even longer than I like to admit. In what ways has the relationship to be disappointing? What has contributed to the disconnection from the norm? The status quo are contributing factors to the issues I raise here.
The Rise of Polyamory
I’m interested in the ups and downs of such relationships. I’m also curious about the benefits and challenges of sharing such intimate information with others. I like to know what kinds of things are acceptable and what boundaries are respected. I like to know how others are responding to my asking about boundaries.
The internet has brought confusion, unease, and a sense of "what’s really going on." All sorts of questions are being asked like what’s OK with kissing less. What’s a boundary, what’s not?
There are also some good ideas and questions to consider.
What would you like your intimate space to be? What does space mean to you? Can you drive your partner wild? Can you be too quiet and comfortable for them? What do you want them to be doing for you?
And these are just five questions. As I grow as a therapist, I learn that the answers to these questions help to determine if polyamorous or not a good fit for a particular individual.
So, let’s dive into the questions.
What is your current focus?
The term polyamory describes a multiple-part interaction field. The key points are that it is act as a "cooperative trust foundation" for the other person, and it provides individuals with a compass for how to explore their options for how to partner and interact. What is your current focus?
What action steps have you identified that will help you move forward in this process?
Do you want to try to learn how to communicate more fully? Do you want to try to create some form of interaction that is fully engaged, so that the other person is always in lead, or are you just not ready to have input?
Or both?
What action steps have you identified that will help you further facilitate this process?
These steps may look very different for each of you. But they will all allow you to move forward in any direction that you choose to take.
I’ll be here to keep you company as we continue to work towards fulfilling our commitment to helping non-monogamy improve and increase the number of people who can be with their partners, and who will be entering into long-term monogamous relationships.
References
https://www.naturalist.com/library/7069676/whats-on/people-being-single
Naturalist, Vol. 4, No. 5, 1978,
https://www.naturalists.com/library/7069676/whats-on/single-sex-relationships
Naturalist, Vol. 4, No. 5, 1978,
https://www.naturalists.com/library/7069676/whats-on/marriage-and-relationships
Naturalist, Vol. 5, No. 1, 1978,
https://www.naturalists.