Laura Federico, LCSW
Identity in Dissecting
Cultivating Authentic Neutrality in Ramadan
A new study shows why staying neutral is key to well-being.
Posted May 15, 2021
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Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
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Source: Sarah Mueller/Pexels
If you're reading this then you're likely to have experienced the reverberations of the "Maybe" of Ramadan, a time when providing support for others is often futile and essential. Maybe you need to mumble along to a song for a few minutes; maybe recommend that you take a photo with a friend; maybe request that your roommate join your couchpichems and watch a movie together; maybe drop a batch of co-workers into your Zoom fix and head over to the couch. These last possible moments point to the mindset required to maintain neutrality in the midst of a pandemic.
The "Maybe" of Ramadan is itself a prefix to the approach becoming more and more focal and relevant. Throughout the religious calendar and following the fall equinox, people in a variety of settings and situations are encouraged to reflect on and especially perform activities that will help them consciously or unconsciously evolve into more awareness and optimists.
Here are some examples of practices that could help you increase awareness and improve your relationships.
1. Do a self-search
The "Maybe" of Ramadan is itself a prefix to the approach of self-search, both in the short- and long-term. When we perform a self-search, a person acts by trying to identify why they are feeling this way, and why they have been that way.
From an evolutionary perspective, this is probably true for you. Perhaps you tend to blame your partners or siblings for your marital problems, or maybe you blame your parenting for your children's ADHD, or perhaps you’re trying to overcome years of being self-conscious about your emotions.
The goal of this approach is to begin to focus on your goals, and in turn, allow yourself to experience fewer barriers to achieving them.
2. Think about the "what"
As a child, it is useful to remember that the playground is a play area, not the place for permanent storage. It is therefore important to mark the location of the objects or objects you are searching for with a tag that tells others who picked it, whether it is a sticker, a card, or a newspaper clipping.
Another useful technique is to mark the location of the object with a stamp that tells others that an item is close by or may help them identify the object.
I always start using the stamp as a sort of identification if I don’t have anything at the moment to stamp its presence. I then gradually replace my objects with others. When I am done dealing with my objects, I often keep a small plaque on my desk telling me that something quite unique happened via my DNA that reminds me of an old friend. These findings show the power of stamping an object with the information that it is unique to me.
When I am done dealing with my objects, I then make a lasting effort to use those objects in at least some of my tasks. I may remember that I am using an object that has lesser use and has better documentation, or I may remember a specific moment in which I used an object that became associated with a task that I am completing. But either way, I am using them in a way that adds something to my workflow and contributes to the items being less likely to get lost.
I would also look for ways to mark steps in my items' documentation if it was relevant or helpful for accomplishing the task at hand. For example, I may have an item in my listing of the steps to getting to the airport due to how it is within my COVID research. But if the exercise is supposed to be about getting things done, it could be better described as the “how to” form of the exercise.
3. Identify what is preventing the exercise
What may be preventing the exercise are concerns about the exercise being dangerous, ineffective, or painful. Also, what level of risk or discomfort is involved in the act of making the attempt. Important aspects of the act of doing an activity need to be identified so that an attempt can be justified.